Day 9 - Rüsselsheim
I had never heard of Russelsheim before, and neither had anybody (mostly Germans) whom I asked, and I was starting to doubt the very existence of this town until I saw the sign, and above all, until I checked in the lovely hotel called Atriumph (what a funny name !).
For once, we had enough time to check in, have a rest and a bath before we went to soundcheck. When we arrived in Rind, we were bedazzled by the spaciousness of everything, even the snacks were gargantuesc (if you don't know what gargantuesc means, I definitely recommand reading Rabelais – for some funny reason, as soon as I put my glasses on I become very teacherish, and, unfortunately for you, dear reader, they are on my nose to stay - I never seem to be able to open one set of parenthesis at a time, I always add a parenthesis inside a parenthesis, and… )
Anyway, the snacks were delicious and consequent, the stage was pretty and spacious, there was a huge Diskokugel and a capacity of 350 passionate spectators. The soundcheck went on well, Mark Scheibe was happy with the sound engineer and so were we.
We had a lovely dinner and Ceylan joined us as our new tour manager. Ceylan is a hyper enthusiastic trainee and she was really happy to work with us during the end of the tour. After a few giggles and some really good joking going on, she contaminated us and we were really glad to have her as well. So everything was pretty idyllic until we realised no one was showing up. When I say no one, I really mean no-one. Ok, let's be honest, there were twelve people including a journalist, four of Susie Asado's friends, Ceylan and Nina and a big drunk hardrocker sitting right in front of the stage and seeming pretty much ready to enjoy himself.
I was second to play and I started with my song Pas Pour Toi. Mr Hardrock was rocking so hard (banging his fists on the table in appreciation) and out of rhythm that it got very hard for me to stay concentrated. Sanni actually thought he was trying to throw me out of the competition but no, as it turned out he was really enjoying it. I got to the finale along with Susie and I don't remember the words we had to improvise along to, but Susie gave a beautiful prestation, stomping the ground with her foot and slamming along. Nevertheless, Mister Hardrock had chosen me and my Hawkline Monster as the winners and he let it know with tremendous roars. So I won. Thank you, Mr Hardrock, enthusiasm is a beautiful thing, no matter the delivery.
Ava and The Hawkline Monster
Day 8 - Düsseldorf
Tuesday the 27th of November
by Susie Asado
Another day spent in the car. Our tour manager Nina navigates the German Autobahn like a pirate the oceans. At some point the high-way ends as if it simply forgot to continue as if it was never meant to take us the whole way to Düsseldorf. So we abandon the catatonic navigator's instructions that keep taking us in circles and resort to the old school way of getting places: a finger on a map. We take the scenic route through small towns and my eyes go in and out of focus. I can feel the 8th day of the tour in my bones. There is something interesting that happens to a group of sleep deprived people traveling far from their usual comforts. You can see it best around their eyes, a kind of vulnerable translucence. But considering we are all dismantling slightly and falling apart in gentle ways, the mood is sweet and funny. We arrive at the club in Düsseldorf. Pretty Vacant is still pretty vacant and we hope that it will not stay pretty vacant. We meet Daniela Decker the sister of Daniel Decker from Pawnshop Orchestra. She assures us of her femaleness with her polished nails and lets Heidi Marie do her eyes and shares her lipstick with Ava. So we have no reason to doubt her gender and she is instantly entangled in our girliness. Pretty Vacant does stay pretty vacant, but the cozy luminous stage makes even a pretty vacant venue seem glamorous. Mark Scheibe is instantly all sparkles and smooth entertainer moves and the mood of putting on a good show is contagious. I decide to see if sex really sells better and I tell silly stories sexualizing immigration officers and thinking of nothing but sex at work. My guitar sounds funny, Daniela's playback stops in the middle of a song and Sanni's guitar stops working completely. Clearly there are acts of sabotage at work. The competition is fierce and Daniela and I get kicked off in the first round despite Daniela being so cool as to sing "Pawnshop Orchestra must be destroyed" in a strange dissonant scream that shakes up the whole Pretty Vacant venue. The mood of putting on a good show sticks and everyone pulls their best moves despite there seeming to be some technical difficulties. Sanni plays Daniela's guitar and she all floors us with her sexy song "Mach Dich Los". And the night ends up being another brilliant example of the power of Ava's battery free instruments that her father built for her before she went on tour. Sanni and Ava's clap-o-meter scores tie on the second round so Ava, Sanni and Heidi Marie all make it to the third round. The highlight of the night ends up being Heidi Marie's spontaneous Improvisation. I can't even remember all the strange words. There was space-equipment and lederhosen and shimmering and god knows what else. It is not so much the elegant way that Heidi Marie effortlessly ties all these words together as if she had written the song ages ago -- we have already witnessed this talent on the 7 occasions that she has made it to the 3rd round -- what happens is that Heidi Marie breaks out into yodels. Yes yodels and she is an awesome yodeler. She yodels in a crazy piercing way that makes your heart simply drop and the thing that bursts out of my mouth is: kickkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk ass. Seriously. So the golden lamm goes to the kick ass lady Heidi Marie for the 4th time. Voila. Love, Josepha
Day 7 - Leipzig
We had a nice slow breakfast in a very slow café in Karlsruhe, getting ready for another long ride in the van. We were heading for Leipzig, and Panam club. I woke up with a sore throat, and I felt really tired. I think the energy level was quite low the whole day. Everybody could feel they had been on the road for one week, non-stop. I think I’ll use the word slow again to describe our brain activity that morning. Low and slow.
We drove trough rain, snow and sunshine. Day turned to night and we arrived Leipzig just in time to do our sound check before the doors opened. We are all really getting into the sound check routine, fast and effective girls we are!
The venue was really nice and cozy, with a real fire going and nice people in the bar making us tea and showing us where to put all our stuff. One of the girls in the bar even spoke Norwegian. Our local heroine in Dresden, Mara, joined us once again for tonight’s show. It was really nice to see her again. She is truly talented, and she kikkkkkk’s ass just like the rest of us. ☺
We all kind of showed a much more soft side that night. It turned out to be a mellow show. Our performance was very relaxed and so were the audience and Mark.
I got to the final round, battling Susi Asado for the third time on this tour.
With the words: menu, squirrel, to spill, love, talent-frei, kafka’esk, immatrikuleren, to shake. I sang a story about me hanging out on a café in New York, feeling depressed coz every publisher I spoke to said I had no talent and they refused my kafka’ish poems, so I thought about going back to school, but in the end I said “fuck it” I’ll keep on writing, fighting…. I really really wish that I understood German, because I’m missing out on all the great stories the other girls are making up in their improvisation. Maybe I will go back to school after all…. to learn German. Even better; just move to Germany. I like it here.
I won the golden lamb again and I will keep it in my heart, forever, very dearly.
We were all super tired after the show. After we’d had some bread and vine in this nice pub that was in the same building we were sleeping that night, we all went to bed. So there we were, four girls in one small room. The room would definitely be nicer if they put some posters on the wall. Maybe we should have given them the famous “Lamm Records Girl Slamm“ poster. ☺
Lots of love Heidi Marie.
Day 6 - Karlsruhe
Saturday the 24th of November/ Sunday November 25th
by Susie Asado
We wake up in a sunny Fürth. I go down to the basement of the hotel and find Ava and Sanni bathing in the lovely pool with bar. The water is all sparkles and surely the Hawkline Monster is there as well. I am tempted to jump in, but the laziness of getting out of my layers of winter gear prevents me. The early hours in Fürth are spent exploring the park, the market and a local bakery. Then we drive off toward Kassel. Cassala. My home is my Kassel. That is what they say about Kassel. We sound-check and meet our local heroine Ira. She puts on some serious dance tracks and we have a dance party between the sofas and lounge chairs of the Milch Bar. Ira sings "If I'm not here I'm in Tokyo" and I keep thinking we all might as well be in Tokyo. I eat my second pizza of the day and get horribly nervous about the show. By now this all should be routine, but instead I opt for regressing and I regress as if this was the first night of the tour. But then we sing along to Mark Scheibe "Web-web-web-web-designer-web-web-web-web-designer web-web-web . . . . " and I start getting excited about the show. I feel like a boxer about to get in the ring. Well not really. But it is nice to go up on stage with everyone and anticipate the strange things to come. The night turns out to be a grand night for Susie Asado. That is me. I make it to the second round with Ira and Heidi Marie and then Heidi Marie and I go into the thrid round. The words from the audience are: Hausschuhklavier, Käseglocke, Bruttosozialprodukt, lachen, angeln, sterben, hübsch, verträumt, und unfruchtbar. I am terrified, but a song starts bubbling out of me and I make everyone including myself laugh. I manage not to fall off the stage and claim the golden lamm trophy for the evening. So things go. Now it is Sunday. We said our farewells to our lovely tour manager Richard -- we were crying like cats and dogs. Uuuuuuuhhhh. We dropped him off in front of the gloomy Kassel Hauptbahnhof and then we got back in the car and now we are making our way to Karlsruhe. I have never been to Karlsruhe. Ava has never been to Karlsruhe. Heidi Marie has never been to Karlsruhe. Sanni has been to Karlsruhe but can't remember much about it. We think we will kkkkkick ass tonight. Kick pronounced like a drawn out snare sound in the back of the tongue. Try it it's fun. Kkkkkkkkkkkick ass. Yours, Susie Asado
day 5 - Kassel
Thursday the 22nd of November into Friday the 23rd of November
Have you seen the sunrise at 7:30 a.m. from the Oberbaumbrücke in Berlin? A huge red balloon and and luminous sky rising above the Spree. Feuerlichtspiel. The sunrise is one reason to get up at this ungodly hour or to stay up until this ungodly hour. And all the tired eyes and grumpy feet are worth the view from the Oberbaumbrücke. Even if just for the short moment it takes to cross that bridge in a car. Feuerlichtspiel. Except for the sunrise, the hours we spent in the car were not very glamorous to say the least. I will spare you the details of falling asleep with the head against the window or the many aches an ass goes through when sitting for hours on end. We changed vans in Wolfsburg. Nina headed back to Berlin. We stopped for cold sandwiches at a gas station. After the 9th hour we started getting giddy. Singing fragments of songs and climbing around on our seats. Feet to the ceiling. What can you do for ours in a box. When we thought we had made it all the way to L.A. or to China we arrived in Augsburg. Richards venue Beim Weissen Lamm. This is the Lamm Records Home show. And even though none of us have been to this place we quickly settle into the cozy sofas and nervously anticipate sound-check and the show. Time races. Lucy Pereira joins us for the evening. We are quickly smitten by this lovely woman and it is only fitting that in her second song she sings "I am love at first sight". Because she is. Considering we should be fighting for the little golden lamm, we should be battling for being the greatest chanteuse of the night, we should be gritting our teeth and pulling each others hair -- we are actually all quite fond of each other and I for one feel very lucky to be playing with such wonderful performers. I actually made it until the 3rd round. It is me against Heide Marie. I do a silly improvisation with shakers using such words as Latzhose, Nusskuchen, Sausel, rauchen, schwierig, zauberhaft, besoffen, and forgetting tanzen. I usually don't forget tanzen. I love to dance. Heidi Marie sings a song that seems all but improvised elegantly making her way from word to word ending in the lovely image of wishing her girlfriend without Latzhose. Without Overalls. And the winner is Heidi Marie. So goes the night in Augsburg. We sing "Music ist Liebe" and "Auf Wiedersehen das ist das Ende" and we can feel that it is the third night and we are getting used to the event and are feeling like a little family. Back at the hotel I feel wired as hell and the days events race through my head. It is lovely to go to sleep when this tire. Right now it is Friday and we are sitting back at Beim Weissen Lamm and having breakfast. Lucy and Girisha join us and we are drinking lots of tea and I will quit being a computer dork and conversation with everyone. Ahoi. Susie Asado.
